A glimpse into the magic world of the wedding celebrant: all you need to know!
When you tie the knot at a licensed registry office or wedding venue, an official registrar will perform the legal ceremony, which may be held with strict rules and red tape. Registrars in my experience always have more than one wedding a day to attend, so you will only have them for a certain amount of time.
A celebrant wedding is the polar opposite of this, you have the freedom to do as you wish, the ceremony becomes uniquely yours with only you in mind.
A celebrant will take time to get to know you and help you make your ceremony personal, authentic and meaningful, they will find ways of involving your favourite people and craft a ceremony that will be totally unique to you.
Registrars are assigned, a celebrant is somebody you and only you will choose, somebody you will feel comfortable with, who listens and understands your wedding vision and wants you to have a uniquely personal day.
Forget the 'insert name here' wedding ceremony template that is so often used by registrars who will soon be rushing off to their next ceremony; a celebrant makes it personal, unique and individual. Each wedding ceremony becomes personal, I've seen it up close and personal, it's a breath of fresh air!
Your wedding is absolutely unique, your ceremony can be too!
When a ceremony is led by a celebrant, it is totally free of restrictions, it can take place in any place that is special to you, a garden, a park, a beach, a castle, in fact absolutely anywhere.
Wedding ceremonies are all about two people in love coming together, a public commitment of love celebrated with their friends and family. The legal part is just a formality.
People won't remember the orders of service or the colour of the decor, but they WILL remember how the celebrant made them feel, how they made them laugh and cry and how unique it was. Choosing the right celebrant is important, you will need to feel comfortable with them and feel a genuine connection.
Celebrant led weddings have taken off in recent years,
but what exactly is a Wedding Celebrant?
I recently had to absolute privilege of photographing a wonderful garden wedding, where the couple hired a totally unique celebrant to conduct the ceremony. I was blown away, it was so personal, that I was under the impression that the celebrant was actually part of the family. I get asked all the time about recommending suppliers, so I had to get in touch with the wonderful Cate, partners with Nikki of 'Pink and Ginger Ceremonies' and get to know how the magic worked!
Meet Cate & Nikki who are Pink and Ginger Ceremonies:
Pink and Ginger Ceremonies are utterly unique, trust me, i've seen them work close up, they are incredible!
I met up with Cate and Nikki to ask them 10 essential questions any potential client would ask them.
10 essential questions and the insider tips:
Can a Celebrant assist you in writing your vows…
YES…..but remember that vows are very personal and need to come from the heart.. As such at P&G we are here to help YOU decide what YOU want to say, and in turn we go away and write them down for you in a way that brings your words together and that reflects how you would want to say them – and remove any tongue twisters so you don’t talk like you are saying them with somebody else’s teeth in!
How Can they Personalise your Ceremony….
At P&G our motto is, “Your Day, Your Way.” We don’t cut and paste our ceremonies and just change the names. From the first day that we meet you even before you book us to conduct your ceremony we begin to get to know little bits about you in the informal chats, emails, and initial meetings. We then come and visit you and begin to take note in a more formal way, writing things down and obtaining more detail. Despite this all seeming relaxed, we are recording everything you tell us and the cogs in our brains are whirring with ideas on how to fit the information we get from you into your ceremony. It may be a funny little detail, or something that one of you did that made the other realize how much they loved you, first meetings, dates (good or bad!!), holidays, the proposal (Romantic or not!) and your journey along the pathway to your wedding day. We also like to involve those closest to you past and present, remembering loved ones not at the ceremony or giving a “nod” to some of the wonderful people who are present and who helped you along the way. But if any stories slip out in our presence that are definitely not for sharing – let us know its “off the record” because if it will raise a smile it may also raise your blushes on the day!
Why did you become a wedding celebrant?
Cate and Nikki both met in their previous lives as Police officers. Cate retired early and tried a number of jobs, but nothing caught her attention as much as when she became employed with the local authority as a registrar. Being a ‘people person’ Cate found the scripted ceremonies she was told to deliver boring, monotonous, and impersonal and after the umpteenth time of being told off for improvising and including personal detail in the ceremony – outside of the scripted ceremony she was given - and being time tied at every ceremony as she had to leave in time to get to the next one, Cate decided she could offer more as an Independent celebrant, with the freedom of utilising her skills but with that extra special personal touch. This she did, and her reputation as a wonderful celebrant soon preceded her as she began to receive a never-ending stream of compliments and reviews about how personal her ceremonies were and how she had helped to make precious memories for the Couples, their families and friends. When Nikki retired from the police in 2020 Cate had been a Celebrant for 8 years and saw an opportunity – she immediately approached Nikki and asked what her plans were. Nikki said she wanted to use her “people skills” but in a happy way. Having seen the best and worst of things in her last job, she knew she wanted to find a vocation, something that she really loved. “Well I have just the job for you” said Cate. The girls met for a walk in the early lock down and Cate put the proposition to Nikki that they should team up and form a new and exciting Celebrancy Company together. A company so focused on providing an amazing service to the couples and families that they were given the honour of representing and with such a vibrant, fresh and modern approach ‘Classy but Sassy’ they would stand out from the crowd. Nikki’s immediate reaction was, “I’m in, when do we start!” Cate sent her away to give it some thought but received a call from Nikki that evening to say, “We should call ourselves Pink and Ginger because of our hair!” and there was born their next adventure as team-mates, besties and business partners.
How do you put a ceremony together?
It’s not OUR ceremony, it’s YOUR’s and as such every ceremony is bespoke. We do have a running order and structure to follow as a guide but every single P&G ceremony is written from scratch. We obtain the details from our couples that we need to build the ceremony around. We ask what they want, what their hopes and dreams for the big day are, and what’s their vibe? Do they want anything faith based in the ceremony, what music are they considering – are we going “Heavy Metal”, “All things bright and beautiful”, or a bit of Ed Sheeran (or Beatles for the older couples – “She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!). We review the details you gave us at our meeting and the answers to the questions we asked plus we also ask our couples to fill in a questionnaire so that we have dates and specifics written down on paper to ensure we have all the information factually correct. On obtaining the basic foundations of the ceremony to work with we then hit the laptop keyboard and pull the narrative together. On finishing the 1st draft we send you a copy so you can see the stages of your unique Ceremony under construction. We let you read through it to check it is exactly what you envisaged and also to go through options for your Vows and promises and wording for your ring exchange. You have the opportunity to add or alter the wording right up until we see you on the day. If it isn’t perfect, we work on it until it is. On the big day we speak to you both before the ceremony. We will also speak to those doing readings and your witnesses. We will do all we can to calm your nerves and reassure you that we have your back, we will tell you to breathe, smile and allow you to enter into your ceremony with confidence that it is going to be AMAZING!!
What can you do on the day?
What do you want to do on the day? We can be as traditional as you want – or not! You can make vows that reflect your values, make promises that are close to your heart, exchange rings and sign a beautiful certificate to save as a memoir. Having an independent celebrant gives you much more flexibility – nothing is off the cards (Well mostly nothing!). We are happy to discuss options with you. It’s a known fact that some people have been planning their wedding since they were little and we want to make those dreams become a reality. We can include religion and cultural traditions in the ceremony unlike Registrars or Humanists. We WILL work with children, and animals - we love a doggy ring bearer – but they can’t be a witness unless you have trained them to write their name!! Do you want a flower guy, is your best man a best gal, do you want a flash mob – Nikki can hold a tune and Cate can dance (No she can’t, only joking!). You can have your Ceremony, “Any time, any Place, anywhere” – just like the Martini advert! Sunshine and Sunny's or Umbrellas and Wellies, Inside or outside, Garden or Stately home, Pub or Hotel, Beach or Hillside – if we can get there with the permission of the landowner we will conduct your ceremony wherever you want us to. If it’s at the top of a mountain you may need to provide Gas and Air if we are hiking – but we will facilitate! P&G also have many wonderful ideas to enhance your ceremony, such as Hand Fasting, Sand Ceremonies, Unity Candles, Tree Planting. All you have to do is ask…..
How Far before the Ceremony should a Couple Book their Celebrant?
As soon as you have a Date and a Venue book the Celebrant. Celebrants can get booked up to two years in advance especially on weekends when there is high demand. P&G are happy to pull a ceremony together at short notice if they have availability.
Is a Celebrancy led service Legally binding?
Independent Celebrants cannot provide any kind of legal marriage. We are not registrars appointed by the local council. In this Country your marriage is only ‘legally recognised’ if you have undertaken a basic ‘Statutory Marriage’ at The Registration Office. The process is very simple and not very costly. Firstly you need to book an appointment with your local registration office to give your ‘Notice of Marriage’. After 28 days you are then free to legally Marry. A basic Statutory Marriage can then take place within 12 months and anytime before your Wedding day. You just need 2 witnesses on the day of your legal marriage to attend with you and you DO NOT have to exchange rings or say any vows or promises other than the legal declaration and contractual words that you say in the presence of two registrars and your witnesses, you save that for your Wedding day. To have a Wedding Ceremony you must have completed the legal process before the Ceremony. If for any reason this is not done, you would then only be able to have a Commitment Ceremony.
What Advice do you have for couples trying to choose the right celebrant to ensure an upbeat and joyous ceremony?
This is one of the times whereby you follow your heart more than your head! Choosing the right Celebrant for your ceremony is one of your most important decisions. Shop around…. don’t rush into booking anybody until you are sure they are the right Celebrant for you. Start by having a look at Celebrant’s websites and social media. This will give you a feel for their vibe. If their gallery is full of sassy and fun pictures and features from their previous ceremonies, explore further – but make sure it’s the right balance of fun and romance. You don’t want anybody with a red nose and big feet turning up!! Make contact and expect a timely response – it will give you an idea of how much value the Celebrant puts on customer service. A tardy response may indicate a shoddy commitment to being on hand to respond to you in the future when you need advice. Meet the celebrant face to face or Zoom! It is extremely important to have a good relationship with your celebrant – do they “Get” you. It is YOUR special day. Are they on board with your theme, and do they have lots of wonderful ideas to enhance your ceremony and make it personal to you as a couple. Do they pay attention to detail? – it’s the little things that often matter the most. At Pink and Ginger our motto is, “Your Day, Your Way,” It is YOUR Ceremony after all. Are they bubbly and enthusiastic – without being overbearing! A Celebrants enthusiasm should be infectious. They should leave you excited and confident that all your plans are coming together. They should take pride in ensuring you are happy with every single detail and be prepared to make amendments at your bequest. Your ceremony should be bespoke to you – nothing less than perfect will do.
Any special advice on dealing with wedding day nerves?
Remember, a wedding is an occasion to be enjoyed and not a performance. If things don’t go quite to plan, if somebody is late, if you don’t like your makeup or the hairdresser doesn’t turn up, if you end up with a size 4 and a size 7 shoe, if the groom’s trousers are too small or you pop a button – it doesn’t matter. Take a breath and we will work around it. Don’t get mortal the night before, the deep breaths should be to Calm your nerves, not to stop you calling for a bucket. Hangovers are NEVER a good start to any day, especially not the biggest day of your life. Get some fresh air if you have time before you have to get ready – but don’t go out so long that you are being reported missing from home. If you do drink, a little tipple to settle the nerves is acceptable, but make sure you also are hydrated with water-based drinks and have had a good breakfast – we do not want you fainting in front of your partner and guests. Talk to your celebrant what is worrying you, it is ok not to have remembered every word you want to say without a prompt. “Repeat after me” is always an easier option that reciting from memory. Take the pressure off by making easy choices which enable you to relax and enjoy the Ceremony.
Top Ten Tips
Don’t rush into booking everything – choose the right suppliers for you and have a good look around. And remember – the most expensive is not always the best!
Check your suppliers have Public liability and indemnity insurance you can ask to see it, they should always be able to provide a current copy, and a Plan B should something go wrong i.e. an alternative supplier to step in etc.
Choose a sensible date, time and venue for your theme for example don’t book a wedding outside in November unless you and your guests are prepared to dress accordingly. Nevertheless, we cannot account for the British weather so don’t worry if it rains – bring a brolly!
Don’t let too many people interfere with the planning – “Your Day, Your Way” Be creative – there are loads of ideas that you can pick up off the internet that can save some of your budget to spend on those other extra special things that you have dreamt of having on your big day.
Shop local to your venue – suppliers will travel but Cakes and Flowers are difficult to transport and if you have a problem with suits, dresses or hair and makeup they are difficult to overcome if they are 150 miles away!
Don’t decide to change the style of your hair and makeup on the day – You may not have a curly face!
Ensure if you have a makeup artist or hairdresser that is not your usual – have a practice and check their skills! Your partner is marrying you for you, they don’t want somebody unrecognisable walking down the Aisle.
Make sure Stag and Hen parties are planned at least a couple of weeks prior to the wedding – gives time for eyebrows to grow back – and be careful on who you ask to plan them!
Don’t buy a wedding outfit that you need to slim into!! It is easier to take them in than let them out.
No-body likes a Bridezilla or Groomzilla…chillax and enjoy it!
2 Comments
Feb 13, 2022, 4:19:38 AM
Catherine Livingston - Loved reading about your journey Cate and Nikki and about how your business was born. Wishing you every success with it - you most certainly deserve it. What lucky clients to have you create this unique experience for them! Sending love ❤
Jan 28, 2022, 5:41:57 AM
Cath M - This is beautiful!